Perception

Happiness can be found even in the Darkest of times, if only one remembers to turn on the Light.  

My thoughts for the evening are on Perception.  

This will likely be incredibly disjointed and might not be easy to follow.  I am not is a great mental state right now.

  *Disclaimer.   I am not saying that I am any more unstable than normal, or that anything is wrong, just that I have a looser grip on my mind than normal*  

I see myself as an observer.  I watch. I listen. I learn.  This being the case I wonder at how people perceive their environments and self-reflect on how I view my own.   

I find that collective perception is in a constant flux.  The way that a collective group of people view an entity is entirely transient. This is why we can see a group change from peaceable to riotous in the blink of an eye.  Why someone can seem completely harmless and sane until they start to do something odd and off kilter.  This is a defense mechanism that humans have created in order to survive it is quite brilliant.  It shows why people are so effected when a psychopath who pretends to be normal all of the sudden throws off their social camouflage and shows their true colors. This scares people. Masses push against things that are not the status quo. 

I look at myself and wonder where do my perceptions of life lie?  Am I seeing things in the correct way or is there even a correct way of viewing life?  I analyze my situation and make predictions from that.  I keep a barrier between myself and others in order be able to analyze things in a way that I feel is more objective.  This does in no way mean that it is objective.  I have realized that it leads to a constant struggle between myself and others.  Keeping a bit of distance between people means that you never really feel close, which conversely means that others never get that feeling of closeness with you either.  Loneliness. One would think, "Well hey, there is an easy way of fixing that, just trust someone and share part of your life with them". This is impossible for me.  It frightens people.  And as been stated above, scared people push away.  

On a related note, I find it astonishing how much perception of individuals deals with a concept called daes dae'mar, or the game of houses. This is in its basic form is social pecking order.  It goes much deeper than that though.  It is the concept that there is a subconscious game being played between people where a word here, or potentially some miss information there, could drastically change the perception and thus the social status of individuals.  

One day, 

C. Fletcher

A Note on Love

A Note on Love


I, as most would, say that I have seen true pure love, but what defines Love?  What in its purest essence is Love?

This night I saw what I would define as Love and I want to share what I saw.  Two people entered a room and the rest of the room darkened.  A light fell over them and there was a sense of unease in the rest of the room. Unease due the rarity of sensing what True Love is.  Jealousy, Longing, Admiration, were all exuded from the room.  The two were enraptured by each other and released a glow when in contact with the other.  They gave off the sense that they could, at that moment, watch the world end and as long as they were together they would meet it head on and be content.
I thought that I had this once, I think back to all of the feelings of being in love.  I can see glimpses of this completeness, but never have I seen anything to that extreme before.
I felt a complete isolation between the pair and everyone else. From outside this appears as a negative.  Why would a pair choose to ostracize themselves from the rest of people so completely.  Then a sense of supreme personal loneliness that can only be satiated by what that pair has, fills you, and you are utterly befuddled by how to achieve something so magnificent.

I long to be a part of something like this.  I am witness to the fact that love is something that grows and, this sense, has had to overcome pain and sadness in order to shine so bright. It is not normally something that happens quickly and that the roots likely have already started to take hold somewhere in my life.  I just pray that they find good soil in order to really start to spread soon.  I yearn to be part of something so numbingly beautiful.


One Day,

C. Fletcher

Dreams of a Polymath

How does one define Potential?

I have been thinking about this pretty obsessively over the last few days.  I think that often the word comes with boundaries. For example...  That person has the potential to be a great researcher... or ... That person has the potential to a good athlete.  These statements indicate that the person in question is neither a great researcher or a good athlete.  It also could imply that the person could only reach a certain level in their respective area. I look at people like James Franco or da Vinci and marvel.  For those of you who don't know, James Franco is an actor, film-maker, author, and is getting his Ph.D. at Yale in English.  People with this kind of drive seem to astound the public.  What is the point in doing all of these things when you are already successful and have so much money? I live in a University town, and still don't know anyone who is like really like this.  An active Renaissance man.  A Polymath.  Homo Universalis. Someone who actively learns about a wide variety of topics and strives to master each one.

Why do people not strive to achieve this?

I think this is a problem with our society.  Our society encourages us to go to college and get a degree in a specific field, so that we can work in that field, and so that we can die in that field.  That is a sad proposition.  Only so much can be learned in one area.  This problem is funny to me though because the American University education system is set up to give its students a wide variety of knowledge, and it is not until you get to higher Graduate-level education that one really begins to truly specialize in a specific area.  Then how is it that the students are not well rounded?  My observation which saddens me to the core is that people choose not to be.  I hear "I am an studying to be an engineer, why would I care what is in a Cell, or why would I care how to write a short story?"  I think these responses depress me so much because I do not understand them in the slightest.  I can't fathom an answer that does not sound odd or foreign to me.  I am not socially inept enough to not know what the answer is, but it truly makes no sense to me.  When I see something that I do not know much about, I yearn to know as much about it as I can as fast as I can.  For  as long as I can remember I have had to fight down urges to quit what I am doing because I want to spend all of my time learning about how this or that works.  Just yesterday I though, "C. you should learn how to make music, and see how long it would take you to either have a hit song or at least make something really original and beautiful."  I have always had to keep these urges on a tight reign since that is not a good way to keep a job.  I dream of what an unencumbered life away from frivolities would be like.  This is no reason stop learning or to only focus on one thing, but a dream that one day things will free up a bit so that I can fill it up once more with other passions.


One Day,

C. Fletcher